L-O-V-E

A four-letter word which can appear in all form, bring forth all feelings and ultimately, puzzle me greatly. I can never decipher Love in its true form. To be fair, I am talking about all sorts of Love which encompasses family love, friends love and couple love. Perhaps there are also other form of Love that I am unaware of, undiscovered yet, so to speak. Yet, do I need to know more than I already do, when the present already troubled me so?

Somehow or rather, Love's nearest comparison that I can get, is narcotics. They bring pleasure, sorrow, despair, longing, satisfaction, fulfilment, void and so many others things come together. I mean, how many times have we been hurt by people that we love, and only to return to their side or at least, allowed them to continue their existence in our life?

I know I did, and I tend to take it a step further, I would like to mend things but sometimes, when the other party is just so repulsive, of me I suppose, I guess I just got to learn to stop and give up. To stop yearning for further contact and just give up on....Love. I just wonder why is it so easy for some to cut of abruptly. Does the past really mean nothing?

Ops, back to Love, ultimately perhaps, this is a just coward's thoughts, fearing the unknown.

An illusive world

Just in case you were expecting some fantasy world with unicorns, wizards and what not, nope, illusive world is not that! XD I actually want to talk about a dream that I had recently. And the significance of the dream? It mixed all my worlds together, mashing up all sort of feelings and passions that I have.

What amazes myself the most is the way my dream flowed. From casually walking in KLCC, to the impromptu modelling event to train compartments filled with children and eventually, a ride with a group of people I least expect to come together! Though, what surprised me the most was who I sat with. It was such a random chain of events that until now, I felt like going through it once more.

Funny how the predominant colours in my dream was blue and purple though, which I usually felt pretty neutral about. The colours did enhance the dream-like quality of my dream though. XD

I know, my dream sounds quite mundane, too bad, I forgotten the even more interesting bits. XD

Suffocated

I have really no idea where this is heading. There is just too much connectivity around me, that I feel the need to disconnect, to break off and to hide. Or to just have some time alone. Where I can come back, refreshed, renewed and recharged. To face the world, to take things in a stride and to view things differently.

The modern technology, without a doubt, helps to connect people all over the world. I instantly got connected with secondary classmates, that I had not chatted with for awhile, because I utilised modern technology. But the same technology, also enabled me to be easily accessible by work colleagues, hence blurring the line between work and life.

And then, with social media boom recently, friends seemed to be..a small meagre word. It no longer carry as much value as it used to be. And in my humblest opinion, friends are actually family, without blood relation. So, seriously, can you treat everyone as family? Give them equal amount of attention, put in equal amount of effort, without priority? I don't know, I really don't know. Now, a friend is someone you met once or twice or thrice, add on Facebook or have the phone number, talk a little, touch the surface and voila, F-R-I-E-N-D!

Of course, maybe taking things a little too seriously. But that is because I am all for making friends that last a lifetime, to see them go through live, to get updated of their happenings every now and lastly, to attend their funeral. I have this wish and desire that among close friends that I made, I will be the last one to die. I hate it if friends shed tears, unless it is for happy occasions. 

Everytime I go through my MSN's list or Facebook friends, and then connections in Twitter, I have the urge to de-activate the acocunt, to turn back time and make it such that I never opened the account before. But what's done is done.

Now, to get disconnected in a congested world is not easy. It feels so suffocating and day by day, my urge to become a hermit haunts me. But one day, maybe just one day, when I want to take a hiatus from everything and hide in a cabin by the lake, I will just let another person safeguard all my information for me ;)