A big bother

Trolololol! Starting the new year with a fairly thought-provoking post. Must I really go down this path? I can choose not to but it will feel unresolved. XD

Anyway, here goes: Being a literature student, I was thought and trained that everything is a matter of opinion, sometimes backed by your train of thoughts or upbringing/culture. Nothing is definitely right or wrong, only your thoughts made it so.

Within my first hour of new year, I already experience an emotional dilemma. I wanted to blame someone or anyone for something I encountered. However, upon reflection, perhaps I was the one at fault. For being a menace, being a big pest or a bother. Maybe if I was more useful, and wiser, I would have been strong enough to say a resolute NO, rather than always expecting others to be there for me.

Maybe this is retribution for being useless and expecting. Perhaps my new year resolution should start with : being a hermit.

Non-disclosure :P

There is a reason why I turn off my Facebook birthday notification. XD or maybe a few. Anyway, yeap, 10th dec is the date.

Basically, I came from old school of thoughts and believe in wishing someone a year older, the traditional way. Of course, by traditional, in a particular order, by physical presence, phone communication and last on my list, social media.

Besides, I want to observe and play a little experiment on my dear friends. I mean, those who cared would wish and those who doesn't, just doesn't, right? Not that there would be friendship level changes, like promotion or demotion, but I am just naturally curious :P

However, social media or particularly Facebook acts as a in-your-face notification and I really don't like that. Because it became a matter of convenience to send a greeting. Although, I did send wishes via Facebook on acquaintances and cordial friends. The friendlier ones, I would wish on a more personal basis like a message or something of that sort.

Ultimately, I guess it is the personal touch that I want to incorporate. I am quite sure this phrase fits well here : connected in a disconnected world.

Green-eyed monster, gone!

I am inclined to think that over the years, the green-eyed monster in me slowly dissipated. Perhaps due to circumstances and incidents. Perhaps due to lessons from observations. Of course, as like most things, there are pros and cons to the disappearance of jealousy. XD or envy.

So far, the best part of not having any green eye is being more calm and relax. To live life in my own pace and enjoy whatever I already have. I also appreciate my surroundings, my family, my friends and every single damn thing I own even more. Stripping things down to the core, or basically the essence, became second nature to me.

However, there is an effect of complacency and nonchalant attitude, because I became a 'could not be bothered with you' type of person. Hence, I sort of fell behind the others. Being incompetent, laid-back and super slow in things I do. It surely is a problem in this fast-paced and record-breaking world, where most people always strive to be on the top, the best and the most. I even have the 'my loss, not yours' mindset.

Maybe, I killed off this sense of jealousy when I realised that things in life are meant to be. Although men are masters of their own fate, with karma and so on, to force things through is ultimately detrimental to oneself. To put it in a simple analogy, every creation is made at the expense (destruction) of something. So, I rather not be jealous and outdo someone or something at the expense of myself or anyone close to me. Instead, I choose to be happy for the one who got it and to go with the flow. XD

Life made easier and happier, no? Now, be gone for eternity, green-eyed monster, and change to some other 'colour'. Maybe yellow for happiness and contentment? XD