War ahead!!!!!

Well, exam is not exactly near but still, near enough. Meh, but I can't seem to focus on doing my revision. (Read: Previous post was ineffective) Possibility is that I am being distracted by too many things.

One of it would be I am trying to adapt to the change that had taken place. And mind you, it is a damn drastic one! I totally don't blame anyone for the change that had taken place, only my own inability to take it in a stride. Time and again, I wanted to take some personal space for myself to grow and adapt, but time and again, I failed by falling hardly because of the soft and gentle words spoken by my friends. Maybe its time I just say TAK NAK(?) but damn, that sounds like the anti-smoking ad. In essence, I just gotta be stern on myself and move on. I can't stay in CFAB July 2009 forever. No doubt yeah, we were once bonded damn strong but grow up Jowena, things changed, human changed, I changed.

OK, maybe by trying to get my own personal space, I am running away. I don't want to constantly be surrounded by new faces. I want back the old faces of 9 everytime, but then, it wouldn't be fair to the new faces though. And sometimes, the old faces because they need to expand their zone as well. I mean, once the excitement and thrill is gone, everything becomes boring, and that's when signs of divorce start to happen. :P

Secondly, I think I might have too much on my plate or I am just that sucky in time management that everything seems to be a big mess. I have to get my Associate Piano pieces settled up quick, so many loopholes here and there. Then, SUAC by committing for meetings and AniManGaki 2011 (the last one I will be able to help out properly). Last but not the least, juggling between revisioning AA and TX, and splitting my focus or adjust my priority. I am highly tempted to just start working and go with the change.

Thirdly, I am beginning to feel like a disabled. Like how I keep wanting to go out and have fun with friends but the uselessness of not owning a car. I mean, I am totally fine with going to a friend's place and car pool but I don't even do that. I just wait at my home for my friend to arrive and say, "Let's go!!". That's quite pathetic and useless, isn't it? T.T

Sigh, after so many things and nothing related to the exam. I am pretty messed up, aren't I?


The world stops for no one, only one who stops as the world goes ahead. To the lifeless drone,a slacker he is called. To the wise, he is an observer of humanity.